Last week on GIRLS Ray spoke some serious truths to Marnie. Just like the heroines of the show, my GIRLS and I navigated our twenties in New York City (pun intended.) This is why it evokes many “remember when” & “I am so glad I am not in my twenties” conversations.
“You’re never going to look this good again… the clay is drying, ok, you can’t dress like a magician assistant for very much longer” struck a chord.
Truth #1 – You are going to look as beautiful as you feel for the rest of your life. Sorry Ray… The clay isn’t drying, but you probably shouldn’t dress like a magician assistant for very much longer.
Truth #2 – I am not a writer, not even close. Truth be told I’ve always been a numbers girl. In high school I was ridiculed for the lack of effort associated with my A+ algebra score and in college things were a bit harder but not much… (except for a freshman math class that I got a C in. I blame a serious crush turned boyfriend turned ex for this.)
Truth #3 – “Women have to work much harder to make it in this world. It really pisses me off that women don’t get the same opportunities as men do, or money for that matter. Because lets face it, money gives men the power to run the show. It gives men the power to define our values and to define what’s sexy and what’s feminine and that’s bullshit. At the end of the day, it’s not about equal rights, it’s about how we think. We have to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves.” Beyonce said this in her recent documentary “Beyonce: Life Is But a Dream.” Also, struck a chord.
Truth #4 – I love to write this blog. I love to put up the simple DIY beauty routines, spa finds, and products because one of these posts might give a woman 15 minutes to herself to feel beautiful in a world that often makes it very difficult. I also love the emails, comments, and likes because it creates a sense of community.
Truth #5 – It wouldn’t be a BtM post without a beauty secret!
Time to fess up… recently I read an article on The Conversation with 8 suggestions to becoming the most beautiful you. I was intrigued, so I gave it a try. I was pleasantly surprised… I really started to feel better about myself, in the dead of winter no less… Be warned: they aren’t easy and I didn’t say I mastered them.
Step 1 –Start looking for beauty role models in your own life, not on screen.
Step 2 –Challenge conventional ideas of what is beautiful. This builds on the previous step. Instead of assuming that only thin is beautiful, look for examples of beauty in others of all shapes and sizes, in your everyday life. If you look, you will find.
Step 3 –Change your body language. Research shows that simply sitting up straight, walking with confidence, and standing tall can literally change how others perceive and respond to you, as well as how you feel about yourself.
Acting and looking confident and beautiful literally creates more of that feeling in yourself and is reflected by others.
Step 4 – Get Active. Pick an activity or sport that you enjoy. Physical activity creates a flow of positive brain chemicals that impacts every area of your life. Ask a friend to join you for even better results. (insert For Jennifer!)
Step 5 – Buy clothes that you like right now, at your current size. Buying clothes at your current size does not predestine you to being that size forever! Committing to dressing your current body in a modern, sophisticated way is the beginning of demonstrating your own worth and self respect. Others will begin to respond to you differently when you treat yourself well.
Step 6 –Food is fuel, not foe. This is a tough one for me. When you are stuck in a roller coaster cycle of dieting and bingeing, gaining and losing the same few pounds again and again, and then constantly beating yourself up over it, you are more likely to binge eat, eat emotionally, and end up heavier than your body wants to be. Taking charge of your life, refusing to speak to yourself in a negative way, and thinking about using food to fuel you changes your relationship with food and allows you to make choices that sustain you, not deplete you.
Think about adding foods that will increase your energy and vitality, not taking foods away. By doing this, you may naturally shift your entire mindset about food and eating.
Step 7 –Don’t go it alone. Invest in your relationships. Talk openly with trusted others about your struggles. Help friends with their issues. We are not alone in this world, so why should you feel that way?
Step 8 –Give judgment a rest. Start to be an observer of yourself and your own thinking process. When you notice yourself judging yourself, put that critic to rest. Beating up on yourself creates and reinforces feelings of depression. Speaking and thinking kindly about yourself, leads to a positive, reciprocal flow of emotion and behavior.