The Sandpaper Backside Solution

two girls with sand on their asses, two naked girl asses, behind the mirror, the sandpaper back solution

As New Yorkers, we pretend crazy shit that happens around us all the time isn’t happening. It is a survival mechanism.

Example: This morning I took the bus. I take the bus pretty often because I don’t go far, as a general rule, from my apt and my travels rarely warrant a subway ride. My travels don’t really warrant a bus ride, but it’s cold.  None the less, I was on the bus.To my surprise, an older, more vintage nyc bus came to pick us all up on this day. The ones with large stairs to hike up and insert your card, the handicap entrance is in the back vs. the newer buses where the entrance is in the front with the assistance of the driver.

It was rush hour, everyone in lower Manhattan was on this bus at the same time. A nice enough handicap person, who I would say was certifiably insane proceeded to get on the bus at a nearby stop. After the driver smashed his body through the entire crowd of passengers to help this gentleman, stalling everyone from lower Manhattan a solid 15 minutes, this asshole got off after only one stop. At which point, the entire charade was reenacted for his departure. But, he did provide enriching entertainment for the entire one block he took the bus.

He started his performance with an extravagant amount of exercise and stretching, most of this was in an attempt to put an Adidas backpack on while sitting. He then organized all his belongings, that clearly did not fit, into this same bag, bumping into every person around him.  All the while he talked to himself quite aggressively about the nature of the cold weather and occasionally bursting into song .

Not a single person reacted to this. Not a single one.

two girls with sand on their asses, two naked girl asses, behind the mirror, the sandpaper back solution

It occurred to me that we, not just new yorkers, we as people go through the same routines and daily habits without noticing things around us, like a sandpaper backside… stay with me…

Example: My girlfriend Megan has been talking about this Spray-and-Go Vaseline lotion for I can’t even tell you how long. I think she started whispering it into my ears sometime before last summer, and let’s just say the other weekend she came over to my apt with a gift for me.

Guess what it was? Spray-and-Go Vaseline lotion. Not to say Megan telling someone with a more than general interest in beauty about a body lotion is even close to insane, but it just proves my point that we need to take a moment and react. Or at least notice…

Why? Honestly, because Spray-and-Go Vaseline lotion is one of the best ways to get lotion onto your back that has ever existed. I could have missed it, everyone should enjoy a nice moisturized back since it hard as hell to reach otherwise. Now you have the opportunity to react. You’re Welcome. The End.

No, but seriously, does anyone have any other ways they get lotion on their backs (alone)?


***beauty always comes from within, photos from here and here, xoxo behind the mirror***
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  • Ashley White

    I actually just bought this magical stuff this weekend and LOVE it. :)


    • Behind the Mirror

      It really is a god send, I was so glad I finally woke up and listened!

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